10 questions designed to annoy PhD students

Are you almost done? (asked almost immediately after starting a PhD, and continually until graduation)
Isn’t it time for you to get a job? (usually asked by a person who hates their job)
Where are you going to work when you’re done? (it’s not like being an accountant…we can’t just pick up work at the nearest office)
How is your research relevant? (to what? life? the universe? the environment? the city I live in?)
How will your study contribute to existing knowledge? (it will prove all the other researchers really don’t know what they’re talking about?)
I’d rather do real work than something that’s going to sit on a shelf, you know? (ok, this really isn’t a question, but we’ve all heard it)
You don’t get paid to publish articles? (ha! haha! bahahahahaha!)
You get a salary as a PhD, don’t you? (who started this urban myth?)
So…when you’re done you want to teach at a university? (this is usually asked in the same tone as a person would use to ask, “So…you want to audition for Wipeout?”)
What is a PhD anyway? (ok, no one ever asks this…but they’re thinking it!)